Will a Pre-Nup Ruin a Second Chance at Love?

Dr. Naidich,

If I ever get re-married, I will ask for a pre-nup. Some of my friends say that they will also get a pre-nup if they get (re)married. While others say that if you are in love why ask for a pre-nup because it sends the wrong message to your future spouse and may jinx the marriage. Not to be pessimistic, but I think that getting re-married without a pre-nup is naive. Any advice?

November 9, 2010 7:22 PM

Asking for a pre-nuptial agreement is a personal decision and can be a touchy one. I do not believe that it may “jinx” a marriage. That fact is that with today’s divorce rate in America hovering around 50% it is not unreasonable for each individual to protect their assets when entering a marriage. I don’t believe it is pessimistic, rather realistic. Couples enter into marriage in love- hoping and wishing for the best, with an optimistic attitude. They walk down the isle believing that they will beat the odds and go the distance. While I am a romantic at heart, I believe a pre-nuptial agreement in today’s world is a practical option. That way in the worst-case scenario you are both protected. The trick is presenting it in an amicable manner, rather than in a pessimistic or non-loving way. The best approach is to introduce the idea by telling your potential mate that you have every intention in the world of never having to rely on the agreement, but that that in the event that you do, you want BOTH of you to have an equitable outcome.

Best of luck,

Dr. Naidich