Thursday, December 9, 2010

Long Distance Crush: Pursue or Pass?

Dear Dr. Naidich,

I like this guy, but he lives about 900 miles away. I knew him a long time ago and always thought he was hot. Anyhow, not sure what to do...if I cant be with the one I want, should I introduce him to a friend who lives closer? At least that will get him off of my radar. Right? I mean, why let a hottie get away...right..I might as well let one of my friends benefit. lol...What do you think?
I cant relocate right now since I have a couple kids and their dad would never agree to a move. If I cant be with the one I want, should I be with someone else closer? If there appears to be a "glass ceiling" getting in my way, should I just forget about him, or should I try to beat the odds and break through like catwoman? Advice?

Dear Catwoman, 

For starters, you said that "you like this guy who lives about 900 miles away, that you knew him a long time ago and always thought he was hot". When was the last time you saw him? What type of contact do you have with him now? Was the only thing you liked about him was that he was a "hottie"? How well do you know him now and how serious are you about him? Only you can answer these questions...

That being said, let's assume that you like him for more than his good looks and that you cannot re-locate now. Do you really want him off your radar? Sounds to me like you don't. So how do you know for sure that you can't be with the one you want?

Why not plan a trip to see if you still have the same feelings you did in the past? If you don't then you have an easy solution. But, if you do and the feelings are mutual, and there is a solid basis for a partnership based on real love and commitment, there may be other options. Perhaps he would re-locate to be with you, for example. 

Why settle if you don't have to? Like you said, there "appears to be a 'glass ceiling' getting in your way". That's just it! It's glass--not concrete! Why not try to beat the odds and break through like "catwoman"? Where there is a will there is usually a way. After all, you only live once. This is not a dress rehearsal. I say go for it an see what'll never know until you try!

Let me know how it works out!

Best of luck,

Dr. Naidich 


  1. I agree totally Dr. Naidich. Why settle? If you settle, at some point, you will probably start looking for what you really want. Follow your heart, that's why you have one.

  2. Dr, Naidich,

    I took your advice and went for it! I am leaving to visit "hottie" in less than a week. "Hottie" has many great qualities and seems like a perfect fit for me. I'll keep you posted on how it goes.

    The point about why settle if I dont have to was a catalyst to book a flight for a visit.

    I will let you know how it goes.. Thanks again.

  3. Dr. Naidich,

    Just got back from a week trip with "hottie". Totally off the hook time! Thanks for the advice Dr. Naidich! Will continue to give you update, but the future looks bright, you better wear shades. NICE!

  4. Glad to hear all went well. Sounds like it was even better than expected! As I said, the ceiling was glass, not concrete-good for you that you went for it! Great news. Keep me posted...will look forward to the details!

    Best of luck!

    Dr. Naidich

  5. Dr. Naidich,

    Hottie and I got engaged the other day and plan to marry in June :) I told you that the future looked bright.

    We both have dated a lot and knew exactly what we were looking for. My philosophy has always been that if you find exactly what you are looking for, then you should go for it. If you dont, then you are probably a fool who will live life with regrets.

    Anyhow, I wanted to thank you again for your advice.


  6. Dr. Naidich,

    CSNY had it all wrong. If you cant be with the one you Love, go get them, even if he's 900 miles away! My Love for hottie is on-fire and always will be!

    Cat Woman

  7. Dr. Naidich,

    Just to keep you up to date. I married hottie and am totally ecstatic that I did!!! I cant thank you enough for the BEST ADVICE!!!

    Cat Woman

  8. Dr. Naidich,

    I went to a wedding with someone that I have only been dating for about two weeks. I did not know anyone there, but was OK with that. I danced with my date throughout the night, but she spent just as much time dancing with just her "girlfriends." I was somewhat annoyed by that. What's with women and having to dance with the girls? Should I have brought a t.v. with me and wathced football with the guys?